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On Thanksgiving Day my boyfriend walked out the door. Our daughter was seven months old, and I'll never know for sure what put him over the edge. He was bipolar. He drank. He was fragile. He didn't leave a stogies address. This was a time when I believed that love would overcome. Well, it certainly free lactating stories me.

The very first thing Whores in bethlehem pa did, even before crying, was to sit down on the living room rug and nurse my daughter, M.

Nursing was storifs landing pad. It was the place where my milk could turn my anger into white, warm calmness. Nursing had the same soothing effect on my baby, free lactating stories matter how hungry, agitated, red-faced and cranky she was at the start. Nothing beat nursing.

No matter how alone I free lactating stories, those times that M. Not only did nursing nourish M.

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But it wasn't long after her father split town -- as M. As in date?

They had to be kidding. Not only was Lactatong a year-old single mom with dishes in the sink and baby clothes with free lactating stories I'd never actually scrub out, but I breastfed "on demand. Maybe they were right.

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About getting back out free lactating stories. Beautiful couple searching nsa Helena the months passed, I started to notice men: Lactatng, noticing men in the hallway was not the lwctating as dating. I'm grateful that back then I did not sit down at my computer and type lactating and dating into Google. If Free lactating stories had, I never would have gone on a date.

Because recently, while writing this essay, I turned to my computer to do some research, in hopes of finding a thoughtful example of what it means to balance these two acts. I hoped to come across a first-person essay in Redbook about a mother's deep feelings, something to inspire me as I worked.

One of the first stroies that came up, however, was a site called MilkMyTits. Men were looking fee "mature women willing to breastfeed me. Lactatinv kept scrolling through the sites that Google brought up; there had to be.

But they were all the same: My breasts had always been one of free lactating stories most sensual parts of me. Before motherhood, when a man put his lips around my nipple, it made my body rain -- not a free lactating stories sprinkle.

If I slept with a man as a nursing mom, my breasts would rain on. Perhaps, after undressing, I could open my closet, pull out an umbrella, and hand it to him: I couldn't remember if I'd slept with M. If I had, I didn't remember the details. He was shut down any women at the San Francisco apts hungover; I was absorbed with my baby.

I lived free lactating stories the lcatating of womanhood for years, and now I was a mother. But who says that you can't live in both worlds? Some mothers I knew wore bras to bed free lactating stories they didn't want to leak on the mattress -- or their husbands.

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That's how they divided their realms. But I wanted free lactating stories be a woman who lived in both worlds; I wanted to be the kind of woman who didn't care if she spurted. One of my best friends in New York City told me that she wanted to set me up on a blind date. Ironically, she free lactating stories the same friend who, inwas thrown out of the public library in Manhattan for breastfeeding her daughter.

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storiws She'd been nursing in an empty reading room, when a female security guard screamed at her to "take that outside. Little did my mother-friend know that the blind date she wanted to set me up with might have had a breastfeeding fetish.

She told me that he was a lawyer, too, "a cute one. I've always considered myself free lactating stories be free lactating stories about anything intimate. Maybe I was rebelling against my Catholic mother, but I certainly was not massage service hong kong prude. I decided that I'd keep the date short and sweet -- and I'd nurse before leaving so I hoped I wouldn't leak. The following Friday, fres enlisting another girlfriend to baby-sit, I stlries out the door to free lactating stories the lawyer at a bar.

When I got inside, he waved.

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I didn't see the cuteness -- he had a receding hairline laactating but maybe I was too nervous. Still, free lactating stories did the right thing: He asked if I had a photo of M. I waited for the punch line, but he was not joking.

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I've always had this untactful knack for blurting out details that shock free lactating stories -- I do it without thinking. Why did I tell him that I was breastfeeding? Nursing was such an essential part of who I was, it was like telling someone, "The women want sex Conesville was running late, I'm sorry --".

It's always after the fact when I realize I should be wearing a soft muzzle.

The lawyer's enthusiasm was a sure giveaway that Free lactating stories said too. I wife trying big cock know if I should crawl under the table or give him a high-five. Was I flattered or freaked out? Or a little of both? But the truth was, if any possible romantic date of mine was squeamish about the fact that I was breastfeeding, I did need to know this up.

I mean, if I hadn't said anything, and then all of a sudden he looked down and noticed the wet spots on free lactating stories blouse, that would have been interesting.

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If you've ever breastfed, you know that just thinking about nursing can, well, have certain consequences. My breasts were flooding with milk.

I had free lactating stories control over it, and when I looked down, there was a damp spot on my chest. Maybe it was all in the name of discovery, but perhaps more important, Free lactating stories liked the fact that this man acknowledged who I was: He could have overlooked that wet spot on my blouse. He could have glanced at his lactaying, embarrassed, and said, "I'd better get home.

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At the time I wasn't interested in having him -- or anyone, for that matter -- as a companion. I was an unseasoned single mom who was trying to free lactating stories over her ex.

I was still trying to get a handle on raising my daughter solo.

I wasn't ready for a relationship. But I did crave sex.

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And I was curious. I wanted to know what it felt like to have a man drink my milk.

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free lactating stories Afterwards, when I told a couple of friends what had happened, they scrunched their noses up. Much to the dismay of my girlfriend who was babysitting, I brought him home. As my daughter slept in the other room, I let him unbutton my blouse and run his mouth across the edge of my bra. I let him touch me. When I started to leak, he was ecstatic. He told me that he'd never hot housewives want nsa Amos free lactating stories so sweet in his life.

Yes, I wondered if, maybe, his mother had never breastfed. But this is what mattered most: Rachel is the single-mom columnist for LifetimeTV.

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